I overestimated the magical powers of "more time"

I left The Market at Western Fair at the end of December. It was a rather amusing little about-turn.

At the beginning of 2019 I left my full-time job to ramp up my business so I could support myself. The idea was that I’d suddenly have oodles of free time, which was the only thing that was preventing me from growing my business. 

Well that was wrong. Really, really wrong.

Even with all the extra time, I didn’t so much ramp up my business as I did make lots of plans about how I might ramp up my business when I was ready (maybe tomorrow). Faced with the task of making it all bigger, my brain was like, “Oooh, this is kind of a big deal, hey? Yikes. Tricky stuff. I better plan some more.”

It hadn’t been time that was holding me back. So what was it? 

Question of the year. Literally – I  spent the entire year trying to figure that one out. Courses, and conversations, and lots of Winnie The Poo-style think, think, think. Then one day in my booth I met a young business strategist/consultant. We got to talking and she must have seen the lost look in my eyes because she offered to sit down with me for coffee.

That lovely young woman sat and listened to me ramble for an hour about all the things I’d been struggling to figure out. Then, like a surgeon with one of those magnifying glasses on her head, she looked into my brain and spoke words that I’d been hearing and ignoring for months.

“I think you need to make it smaller.”

Make it smaller. Every time I asked myself what I wanted, I heard “make it smaller” and “keep it simple.” I was all, No! I’m making it bigger! I’m growing! but the thought kept creeping in. A calm little voice, in the middle of a crowded room, sipping on her coffee like “I’m here with the answer, whenever you’re ready. No rush. We have time.”

Hearing someone else – someone qualified – say those words out loud is what finally made it feel OK to listen.

That’s what it’s like for me trying to figure out what I want. Listening for a quiet little voice drowned out by lots of noise. Some people’s voices are louder, some people are practiced at filtering out the noise. I’m neither of those people. I have to listen hard for the message, then find the courage to say it out loud – or, in a pinch, find someone to say it out loud for me. 

Within a month of that coffee date, I’d picked up some part-time work starting in the new year and had given my notice at The Market.

After Christmas, my husband and I spent the better part of two days taking everything apart, packing it up and stuffing it into a teeny little drive up storage unit.

My business was now both conceptually and literally, smaller.

I don’t know what happens next. I mean, I have an idea of where I’m going, but who knows whether it will work out.

I’ll tell you one thing for sure, I’m damn happy to be giving it a try.

Have you ever thought what you needed was more time, but it turned out you needed something else? Is the voice in your head loud or is she a mumbler like mine? Tell me about it in the comments below.

Hearing your stories is the best part of what I do.